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September 1, 2004

Kites are Scary

Today I bought my Dog a t-shirt that says, "I love Bitches." I've never purchased pet clothing before and I really don't wanna be known as a guy who dresses up their Dog in booties and hats and shit, but this shirt made me laugh out loud. It's even funnier on him cause it's like a tight wife-beater. He looks very buff as he brags to the world about his love of bitches.

I also bought a new toothbrush. I'm very loyal to my toothbrushes, so it's always hard for me to make the switch over to a new one. Me and the last one have been through so much together, but alas his time had come. He looked kind of pissed at me in the garbage can. Maybe I'm reading into it, but his bristles had this judgmental frown to them. I swear I heard him mumble something to my contacts. It was faint and admittedly I have a guilty conscience, but I'm pretty sure I heard him say, "It's on tonight... let the floss and the Calamine know, we're gonna take him out in his sleep." But maybe I'm just being paranoid, they were probably just talking about something else entirely.

And now another episode of Rumor Patrol:

Rumor: They're making a Garden State tv show.
Not true.

Rumor: They're making a Garden State musical.
True. In all honesty, it's the same music and lyrics as Oklahoma, they're just calling it, "Newark!"

Rumor: Clark Kent and I are the same person; he's just me with glasses.
Not true.

Rumor: I'm dating Bea Arthur.
True.

Rumor: I saved a bus load of children from certain demise when their school bus careened off the road and was teetering on the edge of a bridge.
True. But they weren't children and there was no bridge. I actually just honked at a bus. To be honest it wasn't even a bus, it was a kite. And I didn't honk at it, I yelled at it cause I thought it was following me. It turns out I was just on an outdoor treadmill... in a park... during a kite parade.

Sleep tight, what the hell it's Labor Day - allow the bed bugs to bite.
ZB

Posted by Zach Braff at 09:37 PM | Permalink

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» http://www.acid-cookie.com/archives/2004_09.htm#001882 from Acid-Cookie
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Comments

second post yay

I LOVE YOU MAN! in a non gay way....

Posted by: Victor | Sep 1, 2004 9:39:05 PM

First to post, YAY

Now I'm going to go feel sorry for myself for checking this site so often

Posted by: Alex | Sep 1, 2004 9:39:40 PM

my girlfriend and I wanted to say that your movie was inspiring and touching. She also has been a huge fan of scrubs since the beginning.

-steven

Posted by: steven | Sep 1, 2004 9:41:12 PM

hehe, bitches. classic.

Posted by: Duran | Sep 1, 2004 9:42:12 PM

Zach,

Do you like the Coen Brothers' movies?

If so, what's your favorite one? Mine's The Hudsucker Proxy. But I'm partial - Tim Robbins is one of my favorite actors.

Who's YOUR favorite actor?

Why wasn't there any Rhett Miller or Old 97s in Garden State?

Would you know if there will be another Scrubs soundtrack coming out with Rhett Miller and the Old 97s on it?

Are you dying to answer all these questions in your next entry, but are worrying about playing favorites with commenters? Well, don't worry - we all know I'm already

your favorite... in some.. distant... imagined reality... in which all plastic items are constantly dancing to karaoke sung by Chuck Norris... and John Ritter is still alive

and well... :-(

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine, and I heard myself say the following: "Zach Braff is so gosh-darned cute on Scrubs, and he knows it. That's his

character, and he pulls it off so well. So... gosh-darned cute." And the problem is... I'm a guy. And I'm straight. So... thanks a lot, man. Thanks a lot.

Adam

Posted by: Adam Lauver | Sep 1, 2004 9:44:43 PM

You are too funny!

What kind of dog do you have?

I'm shamed to admit that you've been in two of my dreams now.

Posted by: Gaelyn | Sep 1, 2004 9:45:55 PM

I read the comment above mine and I swear it said "my girlfriend and i wanted to say that your movie made us touch ourselves"

yeah i don't know. Who you think would win in a fight between a flamingo and a penguin...

- Ali

Posted by: Ali | Sep 1, 2004 9:46:18 PM

YEAH top 10 of posts YAY!!! That's a real cool shirt for your dog hehe. Was it like sick expensive? Because I don't think they'd sell that at petco. Becareful with that toothbrush in the trash can. Things do grow legs and walk off. It may try to like kill you. Good luck with the toothbrush. Maybe you can like put your old toothbrushes on display, that's what I'd do.

Toodles!


p.s. they have kite parades?!?

Posted by: Aria | Sep 1, 2004 9:47:38 PM

I usually have problems parting with my toothbrush too. They kept my teeth plaque free! I love them so!

Kites suck.

Posted by: Audrey | Sep 1, 2004 9:47:52 PM

Damn you Blog, I had the first post and you just took it away from me. I see what kind of games your playing. Ohh, you think your so clever do you, getting my hopes up and then crushing them.

DAMN YOU BLOG, DAMN YOU

YOU WILL RUE THE DAY

Posted by: Alex | Sep 1, 2004 9:48:03 PM

I'm gonna go see GARDEN STATE for the 3rd time this weekend. I haven't gotten this much pussy since SAY ANYTHING came out.

Thanks *a lot*.

Posted by: Jimmy | Sep 1, 2004 9:48:11 PM

word. Kites scare me.
Also just realized this thing is on California time...its so 12:43 here..

Anyway, question about the flick. Have you ever known anyone with lying problems? and also, what (if anything) did they do to get help? Or is it even really a problem? Or is it a warning sing of another problem? Im so confused :( All I know is that Im SO just like the chick in your movie and it was kinda scary. Man, oh well.

Love the soundtrack, but may i suggest something more...classical? I think everyone reading this blog whould go listen to classical music. It is the most true art form to the conditions of the human soul that I have ever seen in my life. As a classical musician I know how it changes me when I perform. Ok, try some Mozart Requiem, Symphony 40 and 41, and his Operas... Chopin and Dubussy Piano solos...Bach anything! And if you seriously try to listen to it and still hate it, email me at RIver0829@hotmail.com and ill send you 10 dollors, I swear.

BTW I do love the GS soundtrack:)

Posted by: Erika | Sep 1, 2004 9:49:31 PM

Don't hate the blog alex..hate the system that forces the blog to mistreat us so.

Posted by: Billy Holland | Sep 1, 2004 9:50:38 PM

I just googled the name "Bea Arthur". That was a joke about you dating her right?

Posted by: Aria | Sep 1, 2004 9:53:06 PM

randomness is hot

Posted by: sam | Sep 1, 2004 9:53:49 PM

That comment from Ali up there - she's drunk. Pay no attention.

Also, you might not want to fall asleep with a pissed off, resentful toothbrush around. Does not make for a pretty sight.

Posted by: Erin | Sep 1, 2004 9:54:17 PM

Hey. I definately am fighting the urge to gush at you about how amazing you are, and funny, and intelligent, and insightful, and witty and... all right. Now I sound like I'm fourteen. I'm not. I swear. Really.

I just couldn't pass up being the third (or fourth, or eightieth, depending on how many have posted since I hit the comment link) person to make an attempt at communication.
I'm sure that everybody envisions their post getting noticed and read by the person they admire, and I'm sure that the admired person has many moments when he says to himself "omg. 925 replies. eff that...", but hey! Dreams are here for good reason. They keep you kicking, and eyeing the next curve in the road. Or blinking at that randomly discovered blog belonging to that randomly discovered actor that you recently became aware of.

You're super-de-duper, and you are heart'ed much in the Chicagoland (especially by kooky college girls named Jen).

Oh, and your little dog too. :)

Posted by: Jeni | Sep 1, 2004 9:54:24 PM

hey zach
yeah for being one of the first posts this itme you might not even be tired of reading by the time you get to mine lol. i just wanted to say that i love you...and in 4 years call me...becuase ya know..then it will be legal and not creepy as shit. anyways...i just wanted to let you know that you are awsome...my dog wants to eat me and hates clothing of anykind apparently becuase she ate my favorite shirt...whatever though...if you ever get a chance ya know...e-mail me becuase that would be SO rad! well..i best stop bothering you and get back to planning my sponge bob party (thats right i'm 3 years old..shut up) lol bye bye

Love Laura
PS if you ever need a 14 year old blond haired blue eyed 5'4 girl for any movie...e-mail me..i've been taking acting lessons for as long as i can remember and i LOVE it lol bye

Posted by: Laura | Sep 1, 2004 9:54:34 PM

Zach: I have decided that you are likably crazy. I bet you wonder "What is that?" Well, my friends and I find that "crazy" is a very appropriate word for many situation, and indeed, a compliment. However most people think that crazy has some sort of negative connotation, or something. So I wanted to be sure right off the bat, that you understood my friends and I, in that you being crazy, is a great thing after all.

Anyway, we decided you should come and chill next time you're in chicago. we can just laugh, watch good films and listen to music or whatever... (you might be tempted to think i'm crazy, but remember that's a compliment)

But anyway - your film is one of the best experiences ever. Both times that we saw it, we walked out feeling better than we had all week long. And that damn soundtrack - that's why we should be friends! We can enlighten each other and stuff. Anyway - Chicago... remember it. - Whitney

Posted by: Whitney | Sep 1, 2004 9:54:36 PM

Strange how you can be going through life and all of your own trials and jumping over your little hurdles and you can watch a movie that is so appropriate to what you're going through. Life is so funny and amazing sometimes. Especially when I've just recently discovered The Shins and my new favorite, The Postal Service. I'm not one of the jeeky music nerds that like to quote lyrics to songs or anything, but Such Great Heights makes me want to come very, dangerously close to becoming one.
Beautiful movie. Always loved you on Scrubs. Oh and I guess I should comment on your post and say "funny about the shirt".

Posted by: Rebecca | Sep 1, 2004 9:54:44 PM

Your poor dog. That funny shirt isn't going to win him any points with the other dogs. In fact he's gonna be made fun of in front of all the other dogs. I guess as long as he looks tough it might be alright, but please no tail ornamentation. I live in Santa Barbara, the dog love city. Let me tell you that people here treat their dogs better than most people, and they put the most horrid outfits on them. Remember your dogs feelings. I'm sure he know you mean well.

Posted by: Aprí | Sep 1, 2004 9:55:31 PM

If you marry me, I'll defend you from toothbrushes.

For all time.

Posted by: Mrs. Paddy | Sep 1, 2004 9:55:38 PM

Once I was hit on by this 30 year old guy (im 17 BTW) and he was all like, Age doesnt matter if its love.....

HAHA no i agree with him, but guys just want to get some....sometimes I feel like they are so insincere:( oh well.

Posted by: Erika | Sep 1, 2004 9:55:51 PM

Your poor dog. That funny shirt isn't going to win him any points with the other dogs. In fact he's gonna be made fun of in front of all the other dogs. I guess as long as he looks tough it might be alright, but please no tail ornamentation. I live in Santa Barbara, the dog love city. Let me tell you that people here treat their dogs better than most people, and they put the most horrid outfits on them. Remember your dogs feelings. I'm sure he know you mean well.

Posted by: Aprí | Sep 1, 2004 9:55:57 PM

Hmm. Well, I just found this site, and I can see that everyone else here is quite a bit wittier and irrelevant than me, so I'll just go...
Wait, I did want to say I thought "Garden State" was grand, you've got excellent taste in music (the soundtrack), and that Adam guy^ is the biggest closet case I've seen in awhile.

Posted by: Hope | Sep 1, 2004 9:56:09 PM