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August 13, 2004

G is for Gay Governor

First a movie about the state, now a Gay Governor... what's next- the World's Fair?

What an exciting time to be from New Jersey. Why's he quitting? Hell even Marion Barry hung in as Mayor of D.C. after he got caught taking a sip of the crack rock. A gay affair is nothing. When I was president of my elementary school student council I once purposely peed outside the urinal as an act of civil disobedience for being scolded for sniffing fruit scented markers. What did they expect? They were fruit scented! If you don't want kids to sniff markers, make them smell like ass, not grapes.

It's a big day for Garden State. Today we open on more than a hundred screens across the country. So if all goes according to plan we'll be joined by thousands more people on our little site. So before we expand, I thought I'd take a chance to thank every single one of you who's been reading this since day one. I'd like to list all your names, but it would take too long. So I will summarize by thanking all the men as Barry and all the woman as Chantelle. Thank you Barry and Chantelle; you've made a real difference in the expansion of Garden State.

Some of you have been asking about the rating. Just so you all know, your government doesn't believe a 16 year old should hear the word "fuck" more than twice in a 2 hour period. The second you say "fuck" twice in a movie your film becomes "R". No exceptions. Pretty crazy, huh? You can blow someone's head off, but 2 fucks makes you unwatchable for someone under 17. Unless they have their parent there to explain it to them. "Mom, I understood the first use of the word fuck, but what's with the second - give me guidance please. I've heard one fuck before, but ever since I heard the second one I've had this insatiable desire to rob a liquor store and refer to all women as "ho's".

Anyway, that's why the movie's R. There is a brief shot of a breast - not mine don't get all excited - but it's because of the "one fuck" rule.

PLEASE: I must beg you once again not to post spoilers in your comments. It's unfair to people who haven't seen the movie. There's plenty of places on the web for that, but I'd like to keep them off the blog. Some people write, ***POSSIBLE SPOILER*** I know you said not to write spoilers, but I don't think it's a spoiler to say_____. Well it almost always is. It's the equivalent of writing about the "Crying
Game": ***POSSIBLE SPOILER*** She has a dick.

Welcome to all you new friends.
Enjoy this beautiful Friday the 13th.
Peace and also love,

Posted by Zach Braff at 03:37 PM | Permalink


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I've been a big fan since "Scrubs" started. I would just like to say that I loved "Garden State" and have been listening to the soundtrack non-stop since yesterday. Thanks for such a great movie. I can't wait for the next season of "Scrubs." - Z

Posted by: Zarah | Aug 13, 2004 3:43:12 PM

Dude, you ruined "Crying Game" for me. Anywho, I've posted stuff on this way too many times (yay, I'm first), but I've gotten a ton of my friends to see the movie. Hope it helps.

Posted by: Leor Galil | Aug 13, 2004 3:43:47 PM

She has a dick!?

Dammit Zach, thanks... Thanks just a whole bunch. Now I know. I should have listened to that ***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** line. It told me so.

Chantelle #3 : faithful reader since 07/20/04

Posted by: Danielle | Aug 13, 2004 3:43:53 PM

hey, havent yet seen the movie ... but VERY excited for it.
just wanted to say that scrubs is one of the few shows that makes me laugh out loud ... this blog makes me do that too (people are starting to think im insane)

Posted by: Penelope | Aug 13, 2004 3:44:00 PM

I always have good luck on Friday the 13th. I hope you do too. I'm going to talk my friends into seeing the movie in Houston on Sunday. If they refuse... then I'll have to wait until next weekend and see it here in Austin. Btw, amazing soundtrack. I'll be checking out those three artists you mentioned earlier.

In closing, um... bye.

Posted by: enreldt | Aug 13, 2004 3:45:23 PM

Happy Friday the 13th Zach. I just ran into an old friend at Barnes and Noble and we bonded over the fact that we both love Scrubs and GS. Thanks.

Posted by: Samantha | Aug 13, 2004 3:45:27 PM

I was planning on taking a group of fellow UF students down to south florida to see the GS tonight (doesn't open in Gainesville until next week), but hurricane charley has foiled our plans and our 5 hour road trip... so, when you're at the theater door checking names off your list like santa at a church service, forgive me and the rest of the gators who couldn't make it through the 145mph winds and blinding rain...

Posted by: lily | Aug 13, 2004 3:46:27 PM

You are so very humorous...thanks for righting the wrongs.

Posted by: hj | Aug 13, 2004 3:47:36 PM

Hey, what are you, stalking me? I'm just sitting here, casually poking around the site, and all of a sudden this new entry appears... okay, that doesnt make any sense.

I have to wait another week for this dern movie. And you're done touring around, with no hopes of you in Buffalo. And now I find out that my fragile ears have to hear the work "fuck" more than once. Could news get any worse?

Posted by: Terry | Aug 13, 2004 3:47:39 PM

Zach, please, please, do not ever get political. I couldn't stand it if another actor I admire turns out to be a hollywood lefty ;)

Posted by: Zach Mach Tach | Aug 13, 2004 3:48:08 PM

Ewww. Urination is much more disgusting than a gay affair. Once a boy in my elementary school peed in the trash can. And when the principle asked him if he "urinated in the trash can", he said "Huh? What does urinate mean?" "It means pee." "Oh. ...Yeah."

Posted by: Sarcomical | Aug 13, 2004 3:48:54 PM

I can't wait to see it again!

Posted by: Callie | Aug 13, 2004 3:49:28 PM

I finally saw the film I've been waiting to see all Summer! THANKS ZB!!! I am so glad that you got it right.

"Garden State" will make my Top 10 List for sure. I run Critical Mass Movie Reviews at www.tccandler.com and have reserved a spot near the top of that list for 2004.

My full review will be up later tonight. Congratulations on the best debut film since Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs" and Paul Thomas Anderson's "Hard Eight".

You are a fabulous new directorial talent.

PS - Natalie was magnificent too.

Posted by: TC Candler | Aug 13, 2004 3:49:46 PM

Yeah, Crying Game is wicked crazy, GS comes out here in exactly one week, i hope desperately that one day i will be able to work with you, and it looks like this week's Ali G is going to be brilliant. Congratulations with the wider release. Keep on a-truckin'!

Posted by: james bartelle | Aug 13, 2004 3:53:47 PM

My Garden State countdown : 6 Days and Counting (you know, not counting today)!

I'm glad that the powers that be decided to bring the movie to the small city I live 20 minutes from.

Good point about those smelly markers. They don't package them well either. Every time I ring them up at work, I get a whiff. Takes me back.

That "one fuck" rule is bullshit. I remember reading about that somewhere and laughing. Thanks for putting it in perspective for those not in the know.

Posted by: *Jess* | Aug 13, 2004 3:54:16 PM

Second story time. I posted a while back to complain about how I have been waiting for this for months. And this morning at the first showing in Arizona I took twenty people(in separate cars) to go see it. Everyone was blown away and um told me to shut up about the blog. I just thought I would let you in on that. It was the first time in a movie that word for word someone described how I felt about home in my 20s. Creepy. Oh and whether you like it or not, you have become somewhat of a mentor. yeah um thanks for that.

Posted by: Dominique G. | Aug 13, 2004 3:56:30 PM

I am so proud to be from NJ right now.

And I am SOOOOOOOOOO happy the movie is out in a million theatres all around me today. Even my mom is excited! And she never agrees to see movies twice!

A job well done, Zach. A job well done.

Posted by: Kristina | Aug 13, 2004 3:56:34 PM

I loved the film, and would never think of spoiling it for anyone. If I was rich I would send people envelopes filled with enough cash to go and see it. But, I can't. So I am just telling everyone I meet to go and see it. It was such an excellent cast and great to watch Natalie in a role that wasn't so robotic.

Posted by: Nicole | Aug 13, 2004 3:56:50 PM

I saw the movie opening night in nyc. The theatre was super full and it was great. The movie is great. I'm telling all my friends, loved ones, and even not-so-loved ones to go see it. Even though I have issues with Jersey (Being from LI, we're taught that Jersey is a poor man's LI), I thought you made it a little better. And now with the gay governor, I'm starting to think Jersey is getting slightly cooler. Good job.

Posted by: Mooney | Aug 13, 2004 4:00:04 PM

I never post her but I read this your entertaining entries every once in awhile. I just want to say your movie is fantastic. It's one of my favorites along with Amelie and the Virgin Suicides and much more. And I didn't know 2 fucks made it rated R. I guess you learn something new everyday. But it's okay cause I passed for 18, twice. Well have a nice day. ciao.

Posted by: Sandra D | Aug 13, 2004 4:00:23 PM

Crap I forgot to mention that the whole MPAA deal [uh, or whoever does these ratings, I think it's MPAA or something]... it's such a joke. "Dodgeball" was far more R-deserving than your movie. I curse the day I was born in 1988. Oh well, in a few years these silly rules will no longer hold me back.

Posted by: Kristina | Aug 13, 2004 4:00:50 PM

PS- does the wider release mean you will stop posting entries? i hope not. your words are filled with inspiration like a fine frosted poptart is filled with the worlds best ingrediants.
keep on a-truckin'!

Posted by: james bartelle | Aug 13, 2004 4:02:25 PM

zach fucking braff, you making fun of mcgreevey is just another reason i want to be your groupie. well, that or just go see garden state a third time. you're awesome as fuck, dude. [and if this was a movie, i suppose it'd be rated r.]

jersey love!

Posted by: Stephanie Miller | Aug 13, 2004 4:03:29 PM

freakin finally found the single copy of the soundtrack in the state of delaware. unbelievable. i didnt have to fight off any old ladies either. i am so stoked. we drove to NYC for the opening weekend cause it wasnt supposed to open near me ever. i am so glad they revised it, so we are seeing it again and bringing friends this time to spread the word. this time we even got a baby sitter so my wife will get to watch the whole movie this time, no interruptions from our baby girl. anyways, zach your movie rocks. scrubs rocks, best comedy since seinfeld.
consistently funny. thanks for such good work. and for everyone who saw it so that it was expanded into our part of delaware. good luck in all you do.


Posted by: chris | Aug 13, 2004 4:03:56 PM

Hahahaha. Thank you for providing a much needed laugh with this post on a very dreary and rainy night.

Posted by: Jill | Aug 13, 2004 4:03:58 PM